So What Do You Do: looking at how we think about work
Note: If any future or current employer stumbles upon this, this is a work of holistic observation about the current working environment. It is not directed toward any one person or organization. I’d also imagine that you feel or have felt the same at some point in your life.
Almost every new interaction past 25 seems to start with the dreaded question, “What do you do?”. I get it, we live in a society that defines us based on our work, but it gets tiring answering the same question over and over again. Not only that but it fails to get at who we are as people. No one can be summed up solely by how they make money. Although, recently I’ve noticed an unexpected shift in how people answer that question. There are the usual platitudes about the actual job, but people are also honest about how they actually feel about things. The masks are off, and most people aren’t happy with what they do. We may like the money we make but we’re all a little miserable. Not just because of a boss or company, it’s what we’re doing and how we’re doing it.
When we’re kids we all have these big dreams about what we’re going to do and who we’re going to be. There are long shots like being an astronaut, pop star, or president but there are also the more grounded ones like being a doctor, teacher, or conservationist. We not only see ourselves doing these things but we’re excited about doing them. These dream jobs are linked to deep-seated values of ours like exploration, health, creativity, helping others, or whatever else drives us. As we get older though we lose touch with these values. We start listening to all of the adults in our lives who tell us that the only way to make it is if we get a “real job” and are as unhappy as they are. Career counselors at school move us toward the “safe path”. College isn’t any better, you get there with all of these ideas about your future and then you end up with a marketing degree.
Fast forward years later and you’re stuck working a job that just isn’t you. Again it’s not necessarily the people or the place, but it’s what you’re doing. You’re so far removed from those things that gave you energy when you were a kid that you can’t find any motivation in what you’re doing, other than just trying to survive. This basic level of survival may allow you to buy everything you want, go on trips, eat out, do whatever, but there’s a lingering emptiness that you’re trying to fill. Then we all look forward to the 2/7 of our lives that we actually have the freedom to fill that emptiness, Saturday and Sunday. Yet we feel so much pressure to make up for the 5 other days that there’s this weight that hangs over the weekend. We might have the opportunity to restore our energy but it doesn’t feel like that. We just don’t know what to do to feel restored.
When we reach a certain age people stop pushing us to explore things that we enjoy. There’s no one signing you up for art classes in your 20’s or forcing you to try a new sport. Not all of us had that when we were kids either, but usually, there was at least one person who would try to get us to try new things. Some continue to explore but a lot of us stop figuring out what gives us energy. We also stop pursuing the things that we liked as kids. Part of me starting this blog was in reaction to that. I loved writing as a kid, but there was no one encouraging me to keep at it. I wrote a lot of papers in college but that wasn’t exactly motivating, but by tapping into something I once loved, I was able to get a little energy back. I found something I could do on the weekends that actually made me feel better than if I just used that time trying to forget the week. If we’re going to work these depressing jobs we should at least have things outside of work that make us not feel so bad about it. Who knows that thing you loved as a kid could eventually lead to something better than what you’re doing now.
The main reason a lot of these jobs are so depressing is that many of us aren’t actually doing anything. We’re moving numbers around in spreadsheets and decks in an effort to make people more money. It’s hard to feel good about what you’re doing when there’s no meaning to it. I wrote about this when I wrote about burnout, jobs that people may look down on are often a lot more meaningful than what most of us are doing. Moving sucks but think about how good you feel after doing it. You feel as if you actually accomplished something out in the world. Making a PowerPoint that 5 people are going to look at is not the same. There’s just nothing there there, There’s no sense of accomplishment in it. You’re not achieving anything from it. It may bring you closer to your monetary goals but that’s about it. Think about review cycles at work, are the goals you set really your goals? No. They’re goals that help the company and may help you move up the ladder but again that’s it. You’re not any closer to who you actually want to be. It all feels so empty and pointless, leading us to feel empty and pointless. We need autonomy and creativity in our lives so that we can actually feel like what we do means something. I say this all the time, but that’s what being human is about. We all have the ability to act and think for ourselves. We have ideas, dreams, and passions. Being a robot just grinding out 1’s and 0’s is such a waste of that potential.
Modern work culture has taken over our lives. It’s why people ask “What do you do?”. For most people, their job is their life. The biggest accomplishment they have is landing a job at a certain firm or company. That’s all they’ve been taught to want. Everyone wants to be able to say that they work for one of the prestigious brands that we all know. It’s all about the Kool-Aid and the Faustian bargain to devote your life to some lifeless entity. There’s so much more to life than a title but we can’t see that. We’re all just following this script that was laid out for us in high school. You go to college, and you get the job. There’s no prep for what to do after that, that’s it. That’s your purpose. It’s all of our purpose in late-stage capitalism. Again, that’s why we all feel some type of way, because that’s not a purpose. Most of us don’t have a singular purpose in life and we may never find it, but I can tell you it’s not what we’re doing now.
I know that this all sounds pretentious as fuck. Here’s this guy with a cushy corporate gig complaining about it while there are much more serious problems in the world. I agree, but it’s all linked together. Just as I shouldn’t be defined by my job, the service worker in Oklahoma shouldn’t be defined by theirs. A single mom on the East Coast shouldn’t have her entire life consumed by work just to have a slight chance at giving her kids a decent life. That’s why we need real systemic change. I don’t know what that change looks like, but we all deserve to find meaning in our lives. We all deserve to have something that gives us energy and drives us. It’s unsustainable for all of us to be in this constant cycle of doing things we hate and then trying to make it up with cheap dopamine. Again, I don’t have all of the answers but if you’re one of the lucky ones who has the time, I urge you to start looking for something in your life that gives you some meaning. Even if it’s just on weekends or just once a month. Pick up an instrument, paint, write, or join a rec league. Do something. Maybe that will give you just enough freedom and energy to figure out what it is you want to do next.