Thank you, Next: capitalism, social media, and gratitude
In the second year of breakdowns and breakthroughs, I’ve been trying to explore different ways that we experience the human condition. Pop culture has been a big influence there but last month I tried to play off Halloween since holidays are a lens through which we see the world. Holiday content may be a bit cliche but holidays can be really interesting because they’re specific times of the year based on different themes. Gratitude is one of those themes. Whether you agree with the origins of Thanksgiving or not (let’s just say the Pilgrims didn’t leave a lot to be grateful for), gratitude is one of the important parts of life. There are a ton of studies out there about how practicing gratitude can have immense benefits for our wellbeing. It also feels good and helps you connect with the world and the people in our lives. Despite the importance of it, there’s this feeling that real gratitude might be slipping away. Now before I say anything else, I feel like I need to say that this won’t be some boomer argument centered on how ungrateful kids are, or people don’t know what they have. Our world is fucked up right now, and it’s hard to be grateful when you’re just trying to survive another day in it. That’s all valid, but gratitude can be a tool in survival and living a more fulfilling life. The problem is that we live in a system that actively works against us feeling good about what or who we have in our lives. Capitalism and social media constantly push us towards what’s next, without giving us the chance to reflect on what’s already there.
Before getting into it, I want to reiterate that I understand how hard it can be to be grateful in the current state of the world. It’d be naive and pretentious for me to say that we should be grateful for how things are. We’re headed towards a climate crisis that our leaders aren’t doing anything about. Fascism is having a come back during a time of immense geo-politcal instability. People across society are struggling with mental health. Our rights, especially those of women and non-white people are more threatened than they have been in 60 years. I get it. None of that is anything to be grateful for. There are also things going on in a lot of people's lives where I’d be an asshole if I told them to be thankful for. Whether it’s personal finances, or other factors like health and education, it really is hard to be a person right now. You can’t take that away from anyone, but because of all of that is why we have to find things to be grateful for. That’s not saying we should just accept all of the shitty things and force ourselves to smile. By digging deep and finding something to be grateful for, it can help us face all of the other things. In order to do that though we have to contend with societal influences that can make it hard to practice gratitude.
There are constant memes about how late-stage capitalism is destroying our quality of life and the planet. Not enough is talked about how the system changes the way we think and act. There are the the typical talking points about how consumerism leads to people living unsustainable lives. Yet, consumerism doesn’t just hurt our wallets, it can hurt our wellbeing. Everything in this economic system tells us that nothing is ever enough, because capitalism requires infinite growth. Playing our part in the economy means constantly buying things to feed that growth. To do that we have to always be on the lookout for what we should buy next. This directly conflicts with feeling thankful. Gratitude requires us to be grounded and reflect on what we do have. Whether that’s material, psychological, or spiritual. That doesn’t work for capitalism. If we’re grateful for the things we do have, then we don’t have to think about the next best thing we need to buy.
Social media reinforces the search for the next best thing but also presents other challenges to gratitude. Today, capitalism uses social media as its largest tool of influence on the marketplay. Influencers' sole job is to make you want to buy whatever they’re selling, even if you don’t need it. The messaging from their posts is that you’re supposed to feel like you and your life isn’t complete without these products. In a way, they want you to feel ungrateful about the things in your life so that you buy things in an attempt to make it better. Products aren’t the only thing being sold though. Other influencers sell their lifestyle, lifestyles that a lot of us dream about having. It’s not just influencers trying to promote their lives either, the social media platforms incentivize us to only post the best part of our lives. When we only see the amazing parts of everyone else’s lives, we can get caught up in the comparisons and become ungrateful about our own. Constant comparisons to what we see online prevent us from appreciating what we do have going for us. Many of these lives that we’re comparing ours too also aren’t all they appear to be, but yet we still get caught up in it all. Just like with capitalism the way social media platforms are designed also affect the way we interact with the world. Scrolling itself takes us out of our lives. Even if we’re not pining after some influencer or celebrity’s life, we still get trapped in the feed. We can’t be thankful for the people or things in our life if we’re just constantly on our phones.
Gratitude can also get lost when things move so fast. Life moves so fast now that we don’t have that chance to slow down and reflect on the good parts of our lives The speed at which capitalism and social media move can lead to “shiny new toy syndrome”. We think all of our problems will be solved if we just find something new. Whether it’s clothes, jobs, or even just watching a TV show, we’re always looking for what’s next. We can’t just sit and be present with our lives and recognize what we’re grateful for. Whether it’s scrolling or shopping, it’s always about what’s next, and what can give you a new rush of dopamine. It’s all about chasing that next best thing. Now if things actually aren’t going well or don’t suit us, then we definitely should look for something that’s better. That search has to be intentional though, because you want to be able to feel gratitude for the things in your life. Just blindly hopping to the next thing and grasping at straws probably won’t lead you to something you want. Every shiny new toy might not be good for you. We’re conditioned though to think that it will give us some sort of fulfillment. To actually find what’s good for us we have to reflect on where we’re at and what we actually want. Doing that might make us realize that what we’re looking for is what we actually have.
Throughout this piece, I keep mentioning that we need to slow down. That’s almost impossible in this world, but it’s the only way to find a little peace. We also need to reflect on what and who matters to us. Our culture can make it seem like we’re all commodities and our only purpose is to consume. That’s what shiny new toy syndrome is all about. That’s not our purpose though. Our purpose is to be human. Part of being human is being thankful. Most of human history has been pretty bad. There have been wars, pandemics, natural disasters, and personal calamities. Throughout it all we’ve found ways to endure. Part of that is just gritting through it, but we wouldn’t do that though if we didn’t think there was something worth gritting it through for. We wouldn’t do it if there weren’t something we were thankful for. Being thankful isn’t about just accepting everything as it is. We can recognize that things are bad, but still find the people and things that bring us joy or make or make our lives better. Not everyone is lucky enough to have it, but most of us have something or someone. By tapping into that we can create something good in the midst of all this chaos. That gets forgotten when we’re constantly trying to buy new things or wishing that we had some influencer’s life. There can be a lot of good in life and we don’t always need something new to make it better. Ultimately, we can at least be grateful to ourselves for making it through another day in this almost dystopia. So this holiday I hope you check-in and see what or who makes your life better.